Managing office romances

Office romances are almost inevitable even where management frowns upon them.

When people spend most of their waking life in close proximity, romantic connections are bound to occur. 

The chances of meeting your life long partner at work are extremely high. It has been suggested that 80% of people between 24 and 39, are likely to meet their partner at work.  It makes sense. Workmates are likely to have similar interests and maybe live reasonably close.

Most managers don’t frown upon ‘serious’ relationships that are formed at work. However flings, adultery and sexual manipulation can cause some serious problems at work. So can favouritism, sexual harassment and discrimination.

What’s your policy?
Many companies in the past have had fraternisation policies which forbid over familiarity between workmates. However, few companies enforced such policies, as they are generally not legally defensible.  It’s important however, to discourage unwanted attention in company sexual harassment policy.  This policy needs to be publicised company wide.

What can go wrong?
One of the main concerns for companies is the damage that can be done when romance doesn’t work out.  One survey said that couples at work are more productive than they normally would be. However when couples break up, the workplace can suffer as well as the individuals.

Some of the problems include:

• A decrease in the morale of co-workers;
• Vulnerability to a sexual harassment lawsuit; and
• Emotional distress of one or both parties.

Another major concern occurs where a manager is romantically involved with a subordinate. Unless this sort of situation is handled with the utmost professionalism, there will almost certainly be a conflict of interest. Co-workers may suffer from unfair treatment and discrimination on a daily basis. They may find that their opportunity to advance is hindered, they may be given an uneven workload or they may be denied projects for which they are more suitable.  None of these, of course, are acceptable and none promote better productivity.

Some tips for handling workplace romance
Make sure your company has a policy about workplace relationships. Ensure that every person knows about it and understands it.

Consider making couples sign agreements. These are designed to make each party agree to conduct themselves professionally at all times, and adhere to the workplace harassment policy.

Such agreements may also provide legal protection for the company in the event of a harassment or discrimination lawsuit.

As a manager, it is best to deal with the effects of the romance, not the romance itself. For example, if it’s obvious that someone is often absent or is distracted at work, deal with the problem through the normal performance appraisal process.

It may be appropriate to make a list of  ‘tips for couples’ available in the workplace such as the following:

• Make sure you know your company’s policy on relationships;
• Don’t broadcast the relationship unless it is official;
• Maintain your professional relationship with your partner; and
• Be discreet- public displays of affection are inappropriate in the workplace.